spaghetti catcatcatcatcatcat

Squidling Erin was a featured Stitchgasm over at the house of our good friends Mr. X Stitch this week, with the Christmas pressie she made for yours truly - a one-of-a-kind rendering of Spaghetti Cat.



We're a big fan of the Mr. X Stitch gang, and demand you a) read the site b) donate money to their worthy cause and c) join their Flickr group Phat Quarter. I can't promise ponies, but I can promise swear words and some of the best modern embroidery this side of the stitch.

(Post title courtesy of Parry Gripp and his epic ode "Spaghetti Cat (I Weep For You)".)

Don't let the Pigeon take over your craft projects!

I work in a bookstore. I don't like to think of myself as a sales person -- I prefer to picture myself as a book-human liaison officer. I introduce people to books, and hope they will hit it off, go home together and share their lives.

One of my favourite series is about a Pigeon. The Pigeon wants many things -- to drive a bus, to have a hot dog all to himself. To stay up late, to enjoy the love of a puppy.

Like so many of us, the Pigeon is often thwarted in his ambitions. That is life, which my mother often tells me was never meant to be fair.

"Liz," you're saying, "am I to understand that you're waxing philosophical about a children's picture book?"

Yes. Yes I am. The Pigeon represents the frustrated bird-child within everyone. Yearning. Reaching. Failing.

Also, there's a flash game where you can feed him a hot dog.

In a fit of mad Pigeon-love, I designed and made a cross stitch.



The pattern was created in StitchCraft 2006, a rather unsatisfying program that nevertheless seems to be the best patternmaker on the market. The picture itself comes from the cover of The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog, which I regularly read to perplexed small children at Saturday morning storytime sessions.



The Pigeon: created by Mo Willems. This cross stitch is not for sale, nor is the pattern available for general use. No, really -- I seem to have misplaced the file. Oh well...

Random Cross-stitch

(If you heard the title of this post in a deep, echoing man's voice, then you, like I, have watched too much iCarly.)

Since picking up Ye Olde Cross-Stitchin', I've managed to start and finish some rather bizarre pieces of work, most of which are related to television or the media in some way. Here are two such designs, mostly done on the fly, which I photographed for your viewing pleasure.

A-MAIZE-ING: OMFG!



This is, literally, the first thing I ever finished. Or started, for that matter. The "Indian Summer" border (the book I got it from informed me this was a lovely, traditional Native American design) took my fancy - and looked kinda easy, which - let's face it - was probably the real reason I decided to do it.



The border is orginally from one of those stupid books you can pick up at the supermarket for $5.99 - they suggested you put this border on a glasses-case or a pillow or something, leaving the middle blank.

Hells no! I knew what this piece needed - some mindless internet acronym, not blank aida! I toyed with the idea of having "A-MAIZE-ing" as the centre, but then I realised that would take too much work and I was getting bored with only four colours. Also, the border is completely uneven, the back is a mess and the aida is covered in pencil - but it was still freakin' cool when I finished and looked upon it with the grace of a mother and her newborn child.

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT A WANG CHUNG IS?



I love a lot of things. Coffee. Idris Alba's profile. Rice cakes. Cheese. But very few of these things come close to the love I have for 1980's supergroup, Wang Chung. They're my sunshine on a rainy day, my mullets in a sea of hipster 'dos, my synth-pop when everything is Bach or Mozart.



The main reason behind it, however, was to try out two "luxury" flosses I had bought but never used - Anchor #1375 and DMC #E135. The pic above shows Anchor #1375 in action - I actually love the result, and the colour distribution. I don't know how often you'd use this floss, but for this project it really worked well.



DMC #E135 can kiss my ass, however. I had to use three strands to even get a nice consistancy, it was slippery and was like a mini-razor blade for the aida. No doubt the only reason to use this thread is for highlighting by backstitch - otherwise, you're better getting a glitter gun and doing it by hand.

Border was freehanded as was the record, using a pattern I found in the world's greatest book that didn't have a record or a plain circle - it's a modified cymbal. Clang!

Perfect tribute, or perfection tribute? Now - go listen to some vintage Wang Chung, and dance hall the days!

My First Quilt, by Liz, aged 26-and-nine-tenths

Quilting, I thought, eyeing the kit at work, how hard could it be?

Okay, so the instruction book had been stolen, but I had all the fabric I'd need, and there was the internet to fill gaps in my knowledge, and it was only $2...

Several months, multiple trips to Spotlight and some frantic Googling later...



I KNOW, RIGHT? I MADE A QUILT! ALL BY MYSELF! AN ACTUAL QUILT!

True, I didn't follow a pattern, the stitches are crooked, some ends are fraying, some thread is loose. But I managed to improvise my way to a baby blanket, and for that, I am absurdly proud.



This is going to be a gift for my friend Lucy, who is currently expecting her first child.



The innermost square, made up of multicoloured fabrics printed in triangle patterns, was from the kit.



Finding the results too small, I bought some complementary fabrics. Putting the mismatched patterns side-by-side resulted in ... well, "horrifically garish" just about covers it. So I added a plain inner-border, in the same fabric I used for the binding.



100% Harvey approved!

"Horrible Bitch" Cross-Stitch

Sometimes I wonder if we're not very nice people at the House O' Squid, then I think about it and don't really care.

Kidding. We're lovely, and crafty, and - like most people - don't like to hear stories about that time you tripped a girl down the stairs because she was wearing her Mum's 1980's skirt (see: Mean Girls). Hence, this cross-stitch:



(I obviously forgot how to iron, too. Forgive me.)

I stitched it without a pattern onto black aida, using an alphabet from 1000 Great Cross Stich Designs by Maria Kelly. This is a book that our house finds indispensable, if only for the four pages of ornate bath, gate and vaccum patterns and an absolute lack of anything actually usable. (Erin likes the leeks, too.)



To class the joint up, I added a fancy 1930s lady. She's gossiping and generally being a nasty cow, natch, without a chin.

All in all, a fun design that would look fantastic in the lounge room of any home with a 16 year old girl with entitlement issues.

Hand-Stitched Babushka Plushes

It's been a while since our lazy asses posted here, but as a household? We are solemnly swearing we shall update regularly. Even with the crap we make in five minutes, like these:



These baby babushka plushes were created using the leftover fabric from the dress Erin made me for a friend's Really Big Party. They were - as you can probably tell - my first attempt at hand-sewing ever, and despite being a little chunky around the edges, their recipients loved them.

I still think I'll stick to cross-stitch. Less stressful, and less stuffing involved.

Recipe: Gluten-free cornbread muffins

Okay, so I'm launching the House o'Squid's craft blog with a recipe. Well, I'd have a completed stitch project by now, if I hadn't stopped to bake.

Anyway. Marti and I have been obsessing over cornbread for a few days now. Blame the Lifestyle Channel and a doco on traditional American foods. I can't speak for Marti, but as a kid, I used to read American novels like To Kill A Mockingbird and marvel at the amazing foods they had in the South, most of which I'd never heard of. Collard greens! (Turns out it's a sort of spinach-looking thing.) Crackling bread! (Bread + bacon = God bless America.) And, of course, cornbread.

This afternoon I said, "That's it! I've had enough of unsatisfied cravings! I'm going to find a recipe and I'm going to make me some cornbread!"

Well.

First I had to find an Australian recipe, because American measurements are strange. That wasn't so hard. Then I had to get creative, to accomodate Marti's gluten intolerance (no flour, thank you very much) and Erin's vegetarianism (no frying in bacon fat for me!). Finally, our cupboards are bare and our bank accounts are empty, so going out and buying extra ingredients wasn't going to be an option.

By the time the cornbread was in the oven, the original recipe I'd used was unrecognisable. But what I've come up with smells pretty amazing. Here are my substitutions:

- buttermilk? Pah! A bit of lemon juice in regular milk will take care of that!
- there's no chilli in the house, but a bit of curry powder adds that delicious colonialist flavour. God save the Queen, y'all!
- plain flour + bicarb + baking powder became regular old self-raising gluten-free flour. Which, if you're a stranger to the shores of the wheat-free lifestyle, has the texture and consistency of asbestos. Non-coeliacs can just your garden-variety self-raising flour.
- finally, the House o'Squid does not own a baking dish. But we do have a muffin tray, for when Erin makes her delicious gluten-free vegetarian mini-flan.

Enough chatter, you say! Share your recipe!

Ingredients

• 1 cup coarse polenta. Not instant. Really, not instant.
• 3/4 cup self-raising gluten-free flour.
• 1/4 cup caster sugar.
• 1 cup grated cheese.
• 1 teaspoon mustard powder.
• 310ml (1 1/4 cups) of milk, plush a tablespoon of lemon juice. Allow to stand for 5 mins.
  
• 1 egg
• 40g butter, melted

Method

1. Preheat oven to 180C. If the non-stick lining of your muffin tray is coming off, grease it and hope for the best.

2. Mix dry ingredients in a large bowl with a pouring spout.

3. In a separate bowl, mix the wet ingredients. Don't forget to melt the butter, especially if the household microwave is out of commission.

4. Combine wet and dry ingredients. Mix them together until they have the consistency of pancake batter, then pour into the muffin tray. Sprinkle some extra polenta on top.

5. Bake for approximately 20 minutes, depending on the reliability of your oven, or until a skewer inserted into the centre comes out clean.

THEY ARE DELICIOUS. We are going to eat them with lasagne.